Dear money,
It’s not so easy to define my relationship to you. You are my friend at times, but I feel like you don’t always have my back. I take you for granted, yet I also scramble at your feet, trying to get your attention. I resent the tricky way you have of adding up when I’m not looking. Do you do that on purpose? Just so you know it’s only good when it’s on the plus side.
Your lack accumulates in these massive black boxes in my credit card statements, and the corners of my mind. It’s not healthy. In fact, I think that might be why I’m writing this letter – to ask for your friendship, your help. Let’s stop these petty arguments and admit we’re in love.
Okay, I admit I haven’t always treated you with the utmost respect. In fact, I’ve pretty much bought into the whole “root of all evil” thing for most of my life. But in my defense, you’ve always been a difficult person to pin down. I resent all the time I had to spend as a kid learning how to manage you. I tried to track you down month after month, putting you into categories. Schoolbooks, concert tickets, bus fare – all those things you have a monopoly on. But somehow you won’t be pinned. You come and go as you please with very little regard for your effect on people’s lives. Yet I can’t dismiss you. Annoyingly, I cherish you.
I feel like we have a casual lover’s relationship where you sometimes come over and pay lots of attention to me, but then you drift out of my life and don’t tell me where you’re going. I hate to admit it, but I get scared when you’re not around. You make me feel secure.
What about this for a solution? If I make you feel welcome, will you come and visit me more often? I could build you a guest house where you could stay and be comfortable – with your help we could put in a pool or a hot tub. How does that sound? I think we’re ready to move in together, don’t you? This lifelong fling has made me tired and in need of some serious commitment.
I’m going to toss out my old resentments and negative thoughts about you. When people call you ‘filthy lucre’ I’ll stick up for you! When people say they don’t know where you’ve been, I’ll give you an alibi. I guess what I’ve been meaning to say all this time is that I love you, actually, and I don’t care who knows it!